Week Three Wrap Up!

Week ThreeMonday was tough for me and this time it was not cravings. My stomach is not dealing well with the deprivation and sudden binge day. Week One I had felt like I would be sick, but I woke up fine the next day. Week Two I went to bed with that too full feeling and woke up at 2am Monday morning completely sick to my stomach; it lasted until Tuesday. My best guess for my body’s freak out is that I have spent the last year learning moderation only to throw it out and switch to this extreme diet.

Despite my cry-baby whining I have decided to step up my game and add my exercise routine back into rotation. I have felt lazy and have had too much time on my hands to think in the past two weeks. I have noticed that I do feel better after a workout and as long as I have a motivator to keep me away from desserts afterwards I feel more focused on the weight loss.

I decided M,W, & F Pilates and Ab work. T, R, & S swimming and light stretching. Sunday would be my day of rest and junk food consumtion. This proposed schedule was a bit ambitious and I ended up doing two days of intense swimming and the rest of the days walking and light stretching. I started out strong and did full workouts Monday and Tuesday and was hoping to see an amazing weight loss, but the scale is stuck at -8lbs. This totally destroyed my willpower. My proposed  workout schedule felt moot and I was not motivated at all.

I decided since I was already down in the dumps I would see if I could squeeze into my new swim suit ( purchased 1 size too small on purpose). It is brand new so it was a little tough to pull on, but once I pulled the straps over my shoulders something amazing happened… Fireworks started bursting in my periphory and trumpets blared. A choir of overly excited angels began to sing and I realized… It fit. Not only that, but oh my god… my stomach looked smaller.

I really wish I had measured myself before this craziness began. If I knew how many inches I lost maybe that could keep me going rather than this constant scale jumping. I mean, the diet promised me 20 lbs. I am trying to find a way to be healthier, but the only way of tracking my progress seems to be with these ideal numbers and BMI charts. Accoring to the BMI chart I am on the cusp of Obesity and just simply being overweight. In fact until I reach the mythical 125lbs range I am not at a healthy weight. In high school I weighed anywhere from 145 – 155 lbs and I was pretty darn skinny. I had no tummy or major body issues. As it is now, my legs and arms are getting pretty trim and it is only my midsection that is stressing me out. I am currently weighing in at 169.5lbs and have not really budged from that point in a while. I began this diet at 178lbs and while an impressive loss in just a month, I feel like the suffering is outweighing the benefits.

I need to start thinking about the future and what I am going to do after Week Four ends. I do not want my first week free from my self-obilagtion to be non-stop junk food and carbs. Maybe I can do M-F then moderation on Saturday and Sunday? Food for thought.


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Week Two Wrap Up!

week two Okay I was SUPER lazy this week. I kind of just wallowed in a sulky-piteous state. I decided to sleep early rather than deal with my junk food withdrawl.

By the way, for those of you who love junk food, but want to try the Slow-Carb diet, DO NOT LEAVE A JAR FULL OF COOKIES IN YOUR CUPBOARD. DO NOT DO IT! Those cookies will begin to haunt you and make your life a living hell. Trust me. I ended up taking a huge bag to work and instructing my co-workers not to offer them to me or eat them in front of me. The few that clung to the bottom of the jar were foisted upon the guests who wandered into my den of depression.

I decided not to do a day by day journal, one because the day by day was getting pretty repetitive and two because I was busy pining for the remaining junk food in my cupboards. I should mention that since I began this journey I am down 8lbs without any heavy exercise.

The next two weeks I will be stepping up my activity level in hopes that it will boost this weight loss and I can hit the promised 20lb mark. 12 lbs to go! When I began gaining weight I was forced to donate a lot of my clothes, it was a bad day for me. I had a pile of clothes that I was hesitant to let go of and I had the idea that I would lock those away in storage with a label that instructed the reader:


I unfortunately gained much more weight after that so, the clothes in there haven’t seen the light in over 4 years. I am now within 10lbs of opening that box! I am going to hit that goal. I hope no spiders have moved in because I have worked too hard to leave this alone. I am trying to find a way to be more positive during the week, but I am having a hard time enjoying the results due to the deprivation factor. I need some motivating force within my life to help me find the silver lining. My Mondays to Wednesdays are seriously black and the rest of the week is only bearable because the week is almost over.

So over all 8/20 lost in two weeks. Here we go! Week three under way…


What diet are you trying? Has it been working for you? How do you get over the munchies?

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Week One Wrap Up!

Week 1 Week One

To your left is my caloric intake for week one. I have a budget of about 1,700 cals a day at my height and weight. I ate just over 1,000 per day while on the slow-carb diet and barely ever felt hungry. On my cheat day I went absolutely nuts and came in about 1,000 cals over budget. The chart factors in my daily exercise from what I log along with what my pedometer reports back.

This diet is crazy to me because I have been told constantly that eating so few calories is bad for you and it will cause you to gain more weight. I think this is why the book tells you not to calorie count at all. I am trying to make an effort to eat over 1,000 calories, but it is hard when you are eating to get it over with versus because it is so delicious. I am not sure what week two will hold because I think the novelty has worn off.

My mood was like a roller coaster the whole week. I was excited one minute and in-the-gutter-depressed the next. I have adopted a new mantra: This is only for 30 days. I have been contemplating what effect one cookie or potato chip would have on my progress and ultimately each time have decided that there are only three weeks left and that it is not worth it. Oh Sugar how I miss you. Please come back into my life soon for I feel the distance growing and my mood grows darker with it.

I am waiting for the end of week two because it is the half way point and I expect to be able to see some actual result by then. So far, I am happy to report that my ribs are back and I feel like I toned up just a little bit. This might be some new warp in my mirror or wishful thinking, but I am hoping that it continues.


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A Junk Food Addict’s Journal- Week One Part 2/2

Day 4 – Protein Shake, Steak and Broccoli, Steak and Broccoli w/ mushrooms, gum

Amazingly I woke up in a great mood today. Yesterday was terrible and I really wanted to quit and admit defeat. This mood change was much needed! I think that my renewed energy is in part due to the fact that i am past the halfway point. The boyfriend and I decided to try eating out for dinner. It must have been fun to watch us because we walk into Chili’s and our mouth began to water as plates of nachos and burgers passing just beneath our noses. Imagine us as flesh and blood cartoon characters floating by our noses after the servers. We were very careful when ordering, but the boyfriend still received a piece of garlic bread with his meal. We both stared at it longingly and I had to think on my toes. I grabbed it up in my napkin and hid it behind the dessert menu. I saw his eyes dart towards it through the meal, but he had a decent sized rib eye in front of him so I wasn’t feeling too bad for his loss.

Once we were finished with our meal I felt like we had accomplished something. Like being out with the normals and coming home unscathed was worth it.

Day 5- Protein Shake, Steak and Broccoli, Ground Beef and Peas, gum

TGIF. I feel good about the diet. Not much to report on the cravings front. I think having the weekend to look forward to takes a lot of the pressure off. I have a 5k scheduled for tomorrow, but it will be fun because it is a scavenger hunt. I have a group of 5 and we have to solve 12 puzzles while making sure to keep ahead of the competition. I haven’t had much time to think about food for tomorrow, but after the successful outing at Chili’s last night I think we can handle whatever is thrown at us tomorrow.

Day 6- Protein Shake, Pork ribs (no seasoning), gum.

Had a blast at the scavenger hunt. My Team finished 50/215! The boyfriend and I were able to keep up and stave off the hunger all day. The hunt tried to tempt us by hiding one of the clues in a yogurt shop. I saw the clue and it stipulated that we needed to hold a sample of their delicious yogurt in our hands to take a picture. Its like going to an A.A. meeting and asking someone to hold your tumbler of 50 year old scotch. sadists! Did you know there was such thing as NUTELLA frozen yogurt??? When this 30 days is over I will be back and ready to indulge.

After the finish line we went to have some barbeque and celebrate. The cook was thoughtful and made a lot of pork ribs so that we could pig out with everyone else. I think the boyfriend and I finished off a rack and a half at least. It was so good and kept us satisfied so that we could be present and enjoy the company of friends and family. The excitement of tomorrow’s cheat day is helping keep my mood soaring, but is it crazy if i tell you that i would be okay if my cheat day was skipped? I am really content and I haven’t had a huge craving for anything on the forbidden list, well besides the Nutella masterpiece i encountered earlier, but that was put in my hands!

Day 7 – CHEAT DAY : Ham & Cheese Croissant Chocolate Donut Chocolate Milk Bacon Cheeseburger Fries Chocolate Chip Cookies Peanut M&M’s Wavy Lay’s Potato Chips Mexican Coke Lemon Pepper Chicken Wings Spoonful of Chocolate Gelato

Ugh… I feel so sick. I thought that the idea of making myself physically ill on this day was for Junk Food Liteweights. I am a junk food veteran, but this day just kicked my ass. I consumed about 2,700 calories which is 150%more than my typical daily intake. I didn’t even scratch the surface of my craving list. I baked two dozen cookies and only ate 2. I have a cupboard of chips and candy mocking me. I have this full feeling that is making me want to spew and I know this is unhealthy. I wanted to stop, but knowing that I needed to boost my caloric intake and that i would have to abstain for 6 days forced me on. I hope this works because I am regretting this already… Goodnight.

Week One Wrap Up Coming Soon!

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March 26, 2013 · 4:50 am

A Junk Food Addict’s Journal Week One Part 1/2

I have started keeping a journal, I read a lot of different people’s experiences when on this diet, but typically it was enthusiastic due to the results. I want to record the misery along with the triumph. It was getting a bit long so I have decided to do this in two parts with a week one summary later on. I hope you find this helpful on your journey.

I’m Addicted to words and the Slow-Carb diet…

Day One -Protein Shake, Chicken w/ Broccoli cauliflower and black beans, Sage Pork chops w/ broccoli carrots and baby corn

Going Strong. Started this morning with a protein shake, lunch was a bit tough to swallow, Dinner was great. I kinda want some dessert, but I have edamame and HIMYM. I am excited to be making this change and I hope I can keep it up. Stomach has been a bit grumbly today, but I am not letting that alter my mood too much.

Day Two – Protein Shake, Steak tips and broccoli, Citrus marinated Pork chops w/ green beans Edamame and mushrooms.

Did some exercise at the pool tonight. I typically go home and have some fruit or a half cup of vanilla ice cream to pat myself on the back, but tonight a bowl of edamame was my treat. I am feeling a bit hungrier, but i think that is due to a change in routine vs. an actual hunger. As I have told you I am a junk food addict and this dramatic change in lifestyle over the year is difficult. I am trying to distract myself with internet and TV.

A year and a half ago I gave up fast food, meaning if the restaurant had a drive thru, it was off my menu. Then I removed anything deep fried, then soda, then juice. I hit my halfway point and went on vacation where I let loose a bit, but not to the point where I was gaining weight again. When I returned from vacation I started making exceptions and having a soda every other week and if the group wanted Carl’s Jr. I said sure! This is when the plateau started. Honestly, my diet went back to being pretty unhealthy because every day I had one meal that was kinda junky. I thought since I was exercising and not gaining any weight this was fine, but I was only halfway to what, in my mind, is my ideal weight.

Going to get some rest.

Day Three  -Eggs and Bacon, Steak tips and Broccoli, Pork chops and beans, lots of gum.

We caught up with Walking Dead tonight and the opening scene has Andrea and Michonne eating beans from a can and I realized, they are on the same diet I am on. I mean their sugar, flour, cheese… all expired and gone. I doubt while running from Zombies they have time to churn some butter… I guess my point is I am glad I do not have to worry about Zombies on top of worrying about dinner.

I know that through these past three days I have not been hungry, but I am mentally starving. My mood is zapped from my usual content state and it has plunged into a dark place. I hate my TV and I hate opening my fridge because there is a tub of cookie dough that is being saved for Sunday. Every time a commercial for chocolate or cookies comes on the TV the boyfriend and I share the same dead glare. We are not happy and our snippy morning interactions are indication that sugar = happiness. We always make up immediately and we know the mood is just a transition period, but I am quite miserable. I am thinking about junk food almost every moment.Sugar free gum has become my best friend!

On a more positive note, the scale is showing a 4lb weight loss and I know that if i keep it up I can hit my weight loss goal in a matter of a couple months rather than 12. I keep reminding myself that even though the minutes are seeming like hours, it has only been 3 days and withdrawal from the junk i used to  inhale is going to take some time.

I read an article today written by a lady that lost 180lbs after surgery. I find myself wishing that I could drop 50lbs overnight and thinking I would wake up happy and be healthier for it. She explains that there is no alleviation of the depression that comes with being obese or sense of accomplishment. I never thought about that before reading this article because I just assumed that the weight was my problem. I have been depressed and when I see photos of myself before my turn around I am embarrassed and ashamed of how far I let myself go. I still do not like taking photos for that fact and when I am old and wrinkly I will not have any photos of myself in my twenties. I realize that the happier I feel about myself the more I try and improve myself. I find myself trying to be more social and being more active. I buy clothes with brighter color and find myself with a more positive outlook. I wonder if I would have seen any of those changes if I hadn’t taken these months to work hard and lose the weight.

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A Junk Food Addict’s Guide to Weight Loss

OMG ScaleI have lost about 45 pounds over the last year. The first 30 came off so quick that I did not realize it until my pants started to slide off my hips. Then the next 10lbs was paid for in sweat. My weight loss goal is 85lbs and I have been stuck on a plateau for months now. I eat well, I exercise at least 3x a week and yet I am stuck.

The advice many other weight droppers gave me was, “Gain 5lbs then try and lose it. You will pass this plateau by letting go.”  After about 3 months of hard work and no reward I was ready to just give up and let go. I did for about a week. I ate fried food, snack cakes, drank soda and when I went to weight in… NOTHING. Seriously, no weight gain or loss. I can’t even gain weight properly!

That is when I heard about the Slow-Carb Diet.

There are five rules for this diet:

  1. Avoid “white” carbohydrates
  2. Eat the same few meals over and over again.
  3. Don’t drink your calories
  4. Don’t eat fruit
  5. Take one day off per week and go nuts!!

No Dairy, No Grains, No Sugar, No Fruit, No Exercise and a once a week binge-fest. I am going to follow this to the letter for 30 days. I know a few people who have done this and each of them lost 20lbs in 30 days. I will be writing up a week by week update and at the end we shall see if this is a diet for everyone.

Stay Tuned for my tales of woe and maybe even some success. Week 1 on its way soon.


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Being Present

I have been reading a lot of the Classics lately. It is not that there is nothing new that I would rather read, its just nice to escape and visit a place where we aren’t gunning each other down. The way that these characters speak and the way that they treat each other is so different that I find myself examining what happened to change that. I get so wrapped up in the small details and that is what takes me away.

I have effectively bunkered down in the past and fictitious world of my favorite authors. A week ago I attended a party at Gatsby’s masion and that lead me to gaze upon a painting in Dorian Gray’s attic. I have just completed a voyage with Long John Silver and Jim Hawkins and I am currently in London learning to fly with Peter Pan.

Though I have not lived during the victorian era, jazz age or even sailed on a pirate ship; I have asked myself the same questions that these authors attempt to answer or shed light on. These characters war with the inherent good and evil of human nature. They covet youth and lament its quick passing. They attempt to live in the moment instead of being passive.

I fear that by losing myself in their adventures that I am being too passive and perhaps I am missing out on my own adventure. I feel like my twenties are being wasted instead of actually lived. I want to be present and take every oportunity that comes my way. I am just so dissatisfied in my own boring routine and there is a lack of mysterious strangers in need of my help or offering adventures.

I had a weekend to myself recently and instead of staying inside I chose to bring my kindle and faithful maltese companions to the park to soak up the sun. I attempted for a few moments to put the book down and just be present in what was going on around me. The sun shone through the branches above me. My dogs wrestled in the grass and chased wayward nerf darts from a family playing nearby. I couldn’t do it though. I was too caught up in my own head. Each new element reminded me of a song or a story. It made me miss my family and wonder what they were doing at that moment. I ended up daydreaming and missing out on everything. So much so that I didn’t realize until it was too late that my dogs has chewed through their leashes and were wandering free.

At that point I gave up trying to be present and left the park. I don’t think I will be taking any meditation classes or finding much religion because this idea of present is obviously lost on me. I have travelled too far into my own mind and found that the fantasy world I have built in there is too overgrown and I fear I may be lost…

Someone please send a mysterious stranger and a map to come find me. Second star to the right and straight on till morning…

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Google Glass Stunt

On day one of the Google I/O, Google performed a demo of their new product Google Glass. Now when I think demo I imagine a pair of these specs that link to a projection screen and explain the functions to a room of tech-minded folks. Yeah… Google dreams a bit bigger darling.

They gave two extreme-sports-types a couple pairs of these amazing spectacles and threw them out of a plane where they landed on the roof of the Moscone hopped onto two BMX bikes then ran down the building. No, you read me correctly… ran DOWN the building. All the while the room full of tech savvy people were watching their journey via this amazing technology. These two then ran into the confrence building to confirm that yes, they had been thousands of feet in the air just moments before.

This is amazing to me! Look at what we can accomplish! The live feed had a couple brief hiccups, yet remained linked in what Google is calling, “A very challenging wireless environment.” Can you say understatement?

I am not here to give details on this device (i’ll post a link for that), I would just like to put it into the universe that I am impressed. Watching this demonstration brings forth so many questions about where our tech is going. What will we be able to accomplish within a decade? I just think that seeing products like this are wonderful motivation for the rest of us to work harder and dream bigger.

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Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch check check it out…

Beastie Boys directed by Nathaniel Hornblower aka MCA

I was thinking about how unfair it is to say someone has lost their battle with Cancer. I feel like that implies that the cancer sufferer was at fault somehow. Like if they had fought harder or done something differently that the outcome would be different. That is ridiculous. Saying that Cancer is a battle or war to be fought is  setting someone up for disappointment. It is unjust for the person who has passed due to a disease. Let’s not perpetuate that cliche sentiment.

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May 4, 2012 · 6:06 pm

So what do you do?: An errant blog post.

How many people do you know that actually work in fields that they are passionate about? I am sitting at my desk in a pension firm contemplating the next steps of my life and I can’t help but feel that no matter what path I choose, I will not be able to find that dream job. Perhaps I don’t need to like the job specifically, maybe just the benefits of the job. So does that mean, competitive pay and benefits like vacation, health and retirement options.

When i worked in hospitality I never had the same work day twice. I met interesting people and was able to travel inexpensively. Was this my dream job? No, after the 50th complaint about the towels being too this or too that the dream is gone. People on vacation are very open about their expectations and even if you are the best at what you do not all expectations can be met.

Ultimately, you work to save money to buy things to make life more comfortable and to entertain yourself when you actually have free time. So in the end does it matter if you file paperwork for the IRS or work as a trapeze artist?

Just an errant thought.


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